Learning the Enneagram in the Direction of Shared Humanity

“… having a sense of the history of the Enneagram grounds learning about it in a context of self-discovery rather than self-fascination.” ~ John Luckovich

My dedication to Enneagram learning has developed mostly because I’m interested in a world that embodies more of what we all want: more consistent and more genuine care; and a much-improved capacity to love.

I’m committed to the FORMATION of our shared humanity in the direction of love, and the Enneagram is the best tool for I’ve come across so far. Its certainly not the only approach, but its a great vehicle for self discovery, uncovering of essence, exploring your unique defenses and reactions - and when we apply ourselves to this kind of self-observation and inner work, we are changed in the direction of transforming the world too.

First: What is the Enneagram?!

Very briefly, the Enneagram is a system that describes nine distinct patterns of thinking, feeling, and relating to the world. Each pattern reflects a particular way of making sense of experience, which is shaped in early life as we learn how to navigate our environment, protect ourselves, and respond to our own needs.

At its core, the Enneagram points to the underlying patterns that influence why we do what we do, and how it is mostly outside of our conscious awareness. The benefit of learning our own way of being is to become equipped to get out of the box that life taught us and be free to explore other ways of being.

As we begin to understand our own patterns, we also begin to recognize the varied and valid ways others move through the world. The Enneagram doesn’t ask us to become someone else. Rather, it supports us in loosening our grip on the patterns that limit us, so that choice and flexibility are more authentically possible. This is accomplished as we are more and more present.

Why the Enneagram Matters

Being with our suffering well has concerned people since the dawn of human awareness. This has given rise to the origin and sustaining stories that shape our cultures - from philosophy to psychology to religion. How to thrive in the face of suffering and harm has always been one of our primary quests, and it is deeply spiritual work.

History seems clear that more peace and less war is not our natural inclination; locally or globally. It’s also clear that the human capacity for beauty, generosity, art, respect, compassion, mercy and so many other gorgeous ways of being are always present, and that we tend to gravitate toward these as if magnetically pulled.

If love is going to become a more full and complete guiding force in the trajectory of humanity on our planet, it’s not going to happen by accident; it will happen by clear and intentional human choices, made by regular folks like you and me. It will have to be a choice we keep choosing, day in and day out; individually and collectively – long after the fascination with the Enneagram (or any other spiritual practice) fades, and deep into what many people have come to call the work.

My Journey with the Enneagram

I was introduced to the Enneagram (in the early 2000s?) and like lots of folks, I was at first repulsed by something that seemed weirdly cultish to me… and then became fascinated as I realized how completely my modern experience could be described by this ancient set of ideas.

How could these descriptions know me better than I knew myself and how could they describe my motives and behaviours in such grossly accurate and cringy detail?!

This resonance is part of why the Enneagram continues to feel urgent in a world where even healing spaces can't escape division.

I was part of a few communities and relationships that were using and integrating Enneagram, so it was easy to learn and lean into.  Richard Rohr’s Enneagram text was really helpful for me early on.

I remember an early meeting with an Enneagram coach where I wept because I wanted to be less of an Enneagram type 8 and more like something that would make my life easier, something that would make me feel easier to tolerate. For many of us, learning our primary energy is like being exposed in vivid and vulnerable detail.

“You are not an Enneagram type. You have a type, and it’s your primary coping and survival strategy.” ~ Russ Hudson, Everything Belongs Podcast

From Self to Shared Humanity

My hope as an enneagram teacher and coach is to support folks to learn this system fully; to help it simultaneously affect people deeply and also to widen outward into their lives and communities. There are so many beautiful and varied and valid! ways of being a glorious human person – as we learn, it becomes clearer that the perspective we’ve been living with and relating to others by might be more informed by our own ways of being than we realize. We start to see that we’ve been imposing our own ways of seeing and being on the world and those around us. (more cringe, it’s so gross to have our own narcissism exposed.)

There is definitely a trendiness to the enneagram, as there have been with other deep and comprehensive traditions. My hope as an enneagram teacher and coach is to share it as it was intended to be shared – not to pick a few fun ideas and call it a day.

Enneagram and Yoga

There’s a lot of overlap with the Enneagram and yoga in this way.  Both these traditions are reduced and known more as fractured parts than as a whole philosophy for human being. The 8-limbed path of yoga is so much more than breath and movement, yet yoga is unfortunately often understood as a fraction of what it is meant to offer us.

My commitment is to learn from wise and grounded enneagram teachers and community as much as I can in order to keep myself anchored to the foundations of this body of knowledge as best I can. I currently participate in two practice/integration communities and participate in several monthly classes with the Russ Hudson learning community. (My commitment to yoga community and philosophy is similar.)

Learning Enneagram theory is one thing; integrating it into daily life is another. Every conversation, reaction, and decision is an opportunity to notice our patterns and pause before consciously choosing what will come next. This noticing our own habits is an enormous part of the work.

“What to do in this time of The Great Turning? Quiet down, become present, and act beautifully.” - Jack Kornfield

Continuing to Learn About the Enneagram

The Enneagram is a guide to living with more awareness, compassion, and patience with others. My hope is that as you explore it, you notice both your patterns and the richness of difference in those around you.

Whether you’re just beginning to explore your type or have been learning for years, there’s always a new insight waiting to be uncovered. The Enneagram is a lifelong companion, and the more we engage with it, the more it continues to reveal aspects of human experience that may have otherwise gone unnoticed.

At Formation Therapies, we have regular enneagram learning opportunities and groups and look forward to studying and practicing together soon.

BROWSE UPCOMING EVENTS

If you’re curious about joining a group or learning more about your type, these opportunities are designed to be accessible and welcoming for all. You don’t need to have any prior experience; just an openness to seeing yourself and others in a new light.

There will be more info posted here and online in the future. You can contact Kelly for coaching or facilitation inquiries, and you can also email and let us know what you’d like to learn more about.